


One Bullet Too Far

by Bloodiedpixie



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Baz falls and doesn't get back up, I'm not sure if it's a happy ending, M/M, MCD, Major character death - Freeform, Set in Wayward Son, Spoilers for Book 2: Wayward Son, These are sort of character studies, i'm sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodiedpixie/pseuds/Bloodiedpixie
Summary: What if the car-henge scene went a little differently
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	One Bullet Too Far

**Author's Note:**

> CW: MCD  
> Ok so essentially this is going to be a series of one-shots kind of exploring how I think the characters would react if the near-death bits of Wayward Son weren't so near death.  
> These are going to be pretty short one-shots but I'm quite proud of them!
> 
> This is Baz's death and tbh it's probably the least hurtful out of all of them.  
> Anyhow, ENJOY THE ANGST!

_*BANG*_

_Baz: AH!_

_Simon: BAZ!_

_Penny: SIMON!_

_Polecat: HA! LOOKS LIKE THE MAGE AIN’T THAT STRONG!_

_Baz: SOD OFF_

_*BANG*_

_Baz: AH! SIMON HELP!_

_Penny: GRAB BAZ AND COME ON!_

_Shepard: ALL OF YOU BACK OF THE TRUCK NOW!_

***

“I’m so sorry Simon, nothings working,” Penny sputters out, pouring magic onto Baz’s limp, unmoving body.

All it took was one wrong shot, one wrong turn and it’s over.

I look at him.

One bullet too far and he’s gone.

He doesn't deserve this, he never deserved this. He didn't deserve to...

I feel tears start to stream down my face. I stay silent. I can’t speak.

***

Penny left with that Shepard fellow at some point, probably after I yelled at her. I’m just sat staring at _his_ body, his lips are slowly turning purple.

His eyes are closed.

I miss them, I miss that shade of grey that I could never quite find anywhere else. That deep ocean grey.

I miss his presence. I want his chest to start moving up and down slowly.

I wish I hadn’t turned off that fucking highway; I want to bring him back. I tried to get Penny to right as we left the quiet zone.

_“FUCK, PENNY DO SOMETHING!”_

_“I CAN’T!”_

_“WHY?”_

_“BECAUSE HE’S GONE SIMON!”_

He’s gone, he’s not there, he’s _gone_.

He always said he was dead, or half dead. He was never dead. He was always full of life, so passionate, and caring, a right git sometimes but not always.

I want to hear his laugh. I want to hear his voice.

I’m half tempted to shake him and scream at him to speak, to do _something_.

Scream at him to wake up and be with me. Wake up, just open his eyes.

Though I did enough of that on the ride over here, after he…

***

_“S-Simon?” He whispers, he sounds strained._

_“Hey love, I’ve got you now. Just stay awake ok?”_

_He grunts,_

_“It hurts,” He grits out through his teeth._

_“I know love, I know,” I whisper placing a kiss to his forehead._

_“Simon, look at me,” I crane my head to look directly at him, into his grey eyes, “I love you Simon, so much, and promise me, that you’ll keep going, please.”_

_He has tears rolling down his face and it sounds like he’s using all the power he has to not stop talking._

_“Yeah, I promise,” I say grabbing his hand and linking our fingers._

_The truck hits a bump and I hear Baz shout in pain. I’ve never heard Baz in pain, well not this pain._

_He grabs my hand tighter, “I don’t want to see you in the veil any time soon, is that understood?” He grits out._

_“Baz you aren’t going to die, everything will be all right,” I say placing or foreheads together._

_“Simon,” He grimaces, like I’m wrong, “At least say it back,” He chuckles (more a sobbing smile)._

_“Say what back?” I ask stupidly._

_He scoffs, “You numpty, I love you.”_

_He weakly puts his hand to my cheek._

_“Merlin, of course I love you, I love you so much,” I say kissing his cheek._

_He smiles, I love when he smiles._

_“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” He whispers._

_I keep whispering that I love him, I run my hand through his hair._

***

A couple of minutes later, he was gone. He had a rare smile on his lips.

**Penny**

I’ve never heard a scream so loud.

The normal was going so fast that it was hard for me to move.

I knew weren’t out of the quiet zone when it happened. When Baz…

“BAZ!” I hear Simon scream, and I know it’s too late.

He screamed so much. A scream I’ve never heard from Simon. Something loud, powerful, cracking, and painful.

“NO!”

“PLEASE COME BACK!”

“SAY SOMETHING!”

“WAKE UP!”

“PLEASE BAZ, PLEASE!”

“DON’T LEAVE ME!”

The second I heard Simon scream tears prickled in my eyes, my chest felt tight

According to the normal, we were 3 minutes away from being out of the quiet zone.

The minute we _did_ get out of the quiet zone, I really tried to heal Baz. To bring him back but I just couldn’t. It was like trying to heal a rock. My magic pouring and pouring but it just kept landing on the ground

Simon wouldn’t let go of Baz for about a half-hour, just brushing his hair with his hand and sobbing, whispering things I couldn’t pick up. Getting blood all over his trousers and shirt.

At some point, I think I made a statement about how Baz always said he was dead. To try and lighten _something_ in this situation because I didn’t know what to.

Simon snapped at me; he’d never done that before.

_“SHUT THE FUCK UP PENNY HE WAS NEVER DEAD!”_

I left after that. To let Simon have his moment alone with him.

I hopped in the truck to find this motel with the normal.

“I’m- I’m sorry about your friend,” The normal says staring at the road.

I stay silent.

“I shouldn’t have run after you, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to run you off the road,” He says quietly, he seems almost sincere.

I cast **True Colors** just as a precaution. He doesn’t seem to want anything, he's being honest.

“It’s not your fault,” I say quietly.

The normal doesn’t say anything back just drives until we find the motel.

“Um,” He starts right before we get out of the car, “Here.”

He hands me a stack of cash before saying, “You guys need it more than me.”

“Thank you,” I say with a courtesy smile. He seems quite nice.

As we walk into the “lobby” of the motel, my head starts to wander. The carpet is a bright green and the walls are brown. He would have hated it in here.

_“Couldn’t you magic us a better room Bunce?”_ I bet he’d say.

I already miss him. I miss my friend. He was my family; he was like a brother.

I miss his stupid comments and his sneers, I miss everything.

I miss him.

**Simon**

My eyes burn. My chest hurts. My throat is scratchy.

I feel like someone ripped part of my abdomen out. Like the crucible’s magic but reversed.

I want to join him, to hold him again. To feel his cold arms, wrap around me.

That’s how I knew he was really gone.

He wasn’t just cold; he was a bit cold but also the sort of warm as the sun rose up.

I’ve been sat just staring at him.

I hear Penny shout my name again. We’ve done this for a while now.

Penny comes back from the truck, says my name, I don’t respond, she walks back to the truck. Repeat.

I don’t want to leave him. He wouldn’t like it out here. It’s hot and he hasn’t got sunscreen. His hair is a mess, his shirt too.

I crawl over to him and fix his hair to the best of my abilities. Then reach in my back pocket and pull out his mum’s scarf and wrap it around his head.

Boy Marilyn Monroe.

I’ll carry on as he asked me to. I’ll try my best.

I’ll wait 20 years for that veil to open, I’ll wait for 40, Merlin, I’d wait 100 years if it just meant I could see him.

So I can tell him I'm sorry. I never got to give him the life he deserved.

I want him here.

I want-

I want the impossible.

I’m not sure what to do, I don’t want to leave him here in the middle of nowhere.

Penny suggested….cremation.

Which might be the only thing _to_ do.

***

**18 years later**

It’s 3 a.m when I hear it.

His laugh.

I sprout up and see him at the foot of my bed.

It’s been so long.

I just stare and smile, my mouth opens wide.

“Mouth breather.”

I just smile as tears roll down my face.

“Honestly, Snow, cremation? Little dramatic don’t you think?”

I laugh and he sits next to me, and I tell him everything that’s happened. About my life, the long time in therapy, buying a house.

I tell him about the bakery I work at, and I tell him about how _I_ adopted a child.

“Her name is Beth?” He asks in almost a whisper.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty name.”

“It is…why Beth?”

“It begins with ‘B’, like Baz,” I respond

“You absolute nightmare,” He says chuckling and putting a cold fading hand to my face.

I feel his ghostly thumb graze over my smile lines, my wrinkles around my eyes. A smile goes across his face.

“You smile now,” He says in a way that sounds like he’s proud.

“Yeah, I’m sorry you didn’t get to-” I stop.

To see me happy, to grow with me, to live. I’m sorry you didn’t get to _live_. I can’t finish that sentence. So instead I just whisper, "I'm sorry."

“I know, love, it’s all right,” His hand feels farther away, he hasn’t moved it but it feels like it’s not there.

“Will, you able to come back again?” I ask, trying desperately to lean into his touch, trying to hold on to it. To him.

He smiles, but it’s laced in sadness, “I don’t think so.”

I nod.

“Simon?” He asks.

“Yeah?”

“Please move on from me, and live and grow, you still have so much to do,” He says now with both hands on my face.

I nod.

“I have to go, my love, I’m sorry,” He says so quietly I almost don’t hear it.

Oh. He’s fading.

“I don’t want you to go,” I whisper trying to hold it together.

He whispers something that sounds like “I’m proud of you”, but it mostly sounds like wind.

I lean forward in an attempt to kiss him, and he does too.

Cedar and bergamot fill my senses.

Right as our lips touch, right when I thought I could hold him a bit longer, he becomes air.

The cold is gone. The cedar and bergamot scent is gone. He’s _really_ gone.

I start to cry. Like _actually_ cry. The kind I haven’t done in a while.

I know I’ll see him again one day. I’ll hold him again one day.

I’ll try to live my life. No, I _will_ live my life.

I’ll _try_ to move on, but there’s always going to be a part of me that never lets him go. A part of me that will break when I smell cedar and bergamot. A part of me that will want to call his name out into the woods just to see if he’d answer.

I’ll move on, but I won’t forget him and I know I’ll see him again.

**Author's Note:**

> ooooo boy. 
> 
> Right so, imma nerd out for a sec. So essentially my take on Simon losing Baz is he's very regretful (duh) he's wanting to bring Baz back, not only because he wants him back but also because he's sorry. This moment puts Simon's life in a perspective of, "what could I have done better?" with the knowledge now that Baz loved him and "that's all he's ever wanted," It kinda haunts him for years so when he sees Baz he's an absolute mess and says he's sorry. BUT, along with that Simon wanted to make Baz proud, grant his dying wish of living on his life. That's kinda how I think Simon would react cause this is right after the ren fair when he's starting to get a bit more comfortable with Baz then he is ripped away from him. AS FOR PENNY, I think she just shuts down, I think she and Simon both do move on with their lives but Penny gets hit hard because Baz was her only friend other than Simon, now she has met Shep but I don't really think she'd talk for a while and she'd be kinda shut off and distant while Simon is just working incredibly hard to live his life while still holding on to Baz's memory.  
> ANYWAY, that's how I read it all after studying WS for months  
> I hope you enjoyed it!! Comments and kudos are always appreciated and you can find me at [bloodiedpixie](https://bloodiedpixie.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!!


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